The European Rightly
December 19th, 2018
⋅ HEADLINES ⋅

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

Archives

Author Archives

Jan Jambon
March 5th, 2016

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Politics, Society | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

Tieten-emoji
February 25th, 2016

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

Society, Technology | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

Kim Kardashian
May 16th, 2013

Kim Kardashian reveals double lobotomy

American socialite Kim Kardashian has revealed she has undergone a double preventive lobotomy to reduce her risk of saying something stupid. She has gone public with the news to raise awareness.

Showbizz | 5 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
May 15th, 2013

Celebs condemn Angelina’s plastic surgery

World famous celebrities criticise Angelina Jolie for revealing her double mastectomy. ‘We don’t care she wanted to prevent cancer. It’s still plastic surgery and you simply do not talk about that.’

Showbizz | 4 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
May 8th, 2013

Flat tyre halts withdrawal N Korean missiles

North Korea has tried to withdraw two mobile ballistic missiles from a launch site. A flat tyre has prevented the regime to complete the withdrawal. No-one within the country was able to repair the damage.

Technology | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
May 8th, 2013

Avril Lavigne still alive after lost decade

Canadian singer Avril Lavigne has been found alive 10 years after she went missing. Her desperate cries for attention and frantic phone calls to showbizz bloggers eventually led to the woman’s rescue.

Showbizz | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
May 1st, 2013

Steve Wozniak ‘too ugly to wear Google Glass’

Google Glass, the augmented reality device that is meant to change the world, is out for testing. Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak had hoped to be one of the chosen few, but alas, Google thinks he’s too ugly.

Technology | 1 Comment | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
April 30th, 2013

Whores welcome first Dutch king in century

Willem-Alexander, the Netherlands’ new king, will start whoring around as soon as possible. ‘Dutch prostitutes can get their hands on a royal cock again,’ the king promised in his inauguration speech.

Lifestyle, Showbizz | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
April 29th, 2013

Cameron agrees on Brussels Mean Time

David Cameron, the UK’s prime minister, has agreed to drop the Greenwich Mean Time in exchange for budget cuts within the EU. From now on, the Brussels Mean Time takes over as the global time standard.

Politics | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
April 24th, 2013

Rapings put Syrian whores out of business

Sex workers in war-torn Syria are not happy. As more and more non-prostitutes get raped, employment in the sex industry is down by 85%. ‘And the freemium model doesn’t catch on’, complain the whores.

Business, Society | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...