Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.
Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’
Belgian rangers have stumbled upon the crushed remains of Luxembourg during a routine border exercise. The corpse showed tyre and fender marks of a large German SUV. Germany issued an apology, but claims Luxembourg was accidental roadkill.
The investigation into the apparent meteor that exploded over the Russian city of Chelyabinsk has yielded astonishing results. Research indicates that the exploded mass was likely the actor Gérard Depardieu.
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A five-year study from the University of Copenhagen has shown that climate change is affecting turd migration patterns. A more extreme climate will result in a significant decline of the turd population.
The impending superglue shortage could jeopardize the lives of twenty million Australian citizens, as folks down under have always been dependant on the sticky substance not to fall from the earth’s surface.
