The European Rightly
March 22nd, 2019
⋅ HEADLINES ⋅

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

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Archives for Politics

fighting_politicians_91
April 19th, 2013

Ununited Nations suspend further meetings

Following a number of eventful summits, the Ununited Nations has agreed to disband. This could well mean the end of the international panel, which has suffered from discord ever since its foundation in 1946.

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The EU Rightly
April 18th, 2013

US voters believe North Korea to be a hoax

According to a survey carried out by Public Policy Polling, over 60% of the US voters is convinced that the People’s Republic of North Korea does not exist. Kim Jong-un’s regime has reacted with disappointment.

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The EU Rightly
March 8th, 2013

Ireland allows abortions for spawn of Satan

Abandoning its traditionalist, Catholic stance, The Republic of Ireland has finally decided to modify its strict abortion laws. From now on, pregnancies may be terminated if the unborn child is the devil’s.

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The EU Rightly
March 7th, 2013

Germany: ‘It’s been 70 years now. Get over it’

German Minister of Foreign Affairs Guido Westerwelle has expressed his frustration with the prevailing image of Germany abroad. ‘World War II happened 70 years ago. People really need to give it a rest.’

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vigo
March 6th, 2013

Prince Vigo’s ghost reclaims Moldovan throne

In Moldova, a coup d’état seems to have taken place. Behind the unexpected move is, apparently, prince Vigo von Homburg Deutschendorf, an aristocrat who already ruled the country once in the 16th century.

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The EU Rightly
March 5th, 2013

Dutch combat climate by growing taller

The Netherlands, a nation defined by its dual relationship with the North Sea, has announced a new plan to combat climate change. Minister-president Mark Rutte has decided the Dutch will grow taller.

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The EU Rightly
March 1st, 2013

Lukashenko moustache arrested for treason

In a harsh crackdown on opposition, Belarussian president Aleksandr Lukashenko’s moustache has been arrested for high treason. Belarus enforces its reputation as ‘Europe’s last dictatorship.’

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The EU Rightly
February 27th, 2013

Both Georgias to swap places for summer

Georgia is an ex-Soviet state located in the Caucasus region, straddling the Europe-Asia border. The country shares its name with the US state of Georgia. Both have now decided to swap places.

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The EU Rightly
February 21st, 2013

Italy elects: Mafia, Camorra or ‘Ndrangheta?

The results of the upcoming Italian elections are far from certain. While the Camorra appear to enjoy a lead in the polls, recent history has proven that the original Mafia can always force a spectacular comeback.

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