The European Rightly
March 29th, 2017
⋅ HEADLINES ⋅

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

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Archives for Science

tpony
August 9th, 2014

Austerity measures hit history: Trojan Horse downsized to Trojan Pony

History departments have announced budget cuts and cost-saving measures at the annual History Summit in Zürich, Switzerland. Major events, achievements and personalities will be right-sized to fit in better with today’s realities.

Science, Society | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
June 25th, 2014

ISS computers ‘riddled with porn’

The NASA and the European Space Agency have independently discovered why a computer error was interfering with the International Space Station’s routines: the station’s hard disks are apparently infested with pornography.

Science | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
April 25th, 2013

‘Gays are from Uranus’ total best-seller

The popularising science book ‘Gays are from Uranus’ is slowly becoming this year’s best-seller. The book explains why homosexual people behave fundamentally different from their heterosexual counterparts.

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The EU Rightly
April 24th, 2013

Palaeolithic Particle Accelerator discovered

Strong hunter-gatherers with feral beards may have been the first nuclear physicists the world has known. Crashing huge rocks into one another gave them an intrinsic insight in sub-atomic matters.

Science | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
March 18th, 2013

Chelyabinsk meteor was actually Depardieu

The investigation into the apparent meteor that exploded over the Russian city of Chelyabinsk has yielded astonishing results. Research indicates that the exploded mass was likely the actor Gérard Depardieu.

Environment, Science, Showbizz | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
March 15th, 2013

Scientists finally divide odd number by two

For the first time in history, scientists have successfully divided an odd number by two. The feat was accomplished by the department of Experimental Mathematics at Germany’s University of Schlumpeldingen.

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The EU Rightly
March 8th, 2013

Climate change affects turd migration

A five-year study from the University of Copenhagen has shown that climate change is affecting turd migration patterns. A more extreme climate will result in a significant decline of the turd population.

Environment, Science | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
March 5th, 2013

Dutch combat climate by growing taller

The Netherlands, a nation defined by its dual relationship with the North Sea, has announced a new plan to combat climate change. Minister-president Mark Rutte has decided the Dutch will grow taller.

Politics, Science | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

australians
March 4th, 2013

Australia panics as it faces superglue shortage

The impending superglue shortage could jeopardize the lives of twenty million Australian citizens, as folks down under have always been dependant on the sticky substance not to fall from the earth’s surface.

Environment, Science | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
February 27th, 2013

Sun, not man, primary cause climate change

NASA has released new data confirming that not man, but our solar system’s sun is the primary cause of climate change. Without this giant fireball earth’s surface would be freezing cold.

Science | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...