The European Rightly
August 11th, 2020

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

Celebs condemn Angelina’s plastic surgery

May 15th, 2013

World famous celebrities criticise Angelina Jolie for revealing her double mastectomy. ‘We don’t care she wanted to prevent cancer. It’s still plastic surgery and you simply do not talk about that.’

Angelina Jolie, pictured here with original breasts, receives harsh criticism. 'She only wanted to get attention,' Lil' Kim knows.

Furious celebrities condemn Angelina Jolie after her breast amputation outburst in the New York Times.

This morning, Ms Jolie woke up as the most hated woman in show-business. After the disclosure about her double mastectomy, everyone in Hollywood is spitting righteous indignation. Celebrities are queuing to give reporters a piece of their mind.

‘Did she really have to say that in public?’ wonders actor Nicole Kidman. ‘I thought we all honoured a silent agreement: we do not discuss plastic surgery in the open. Ever. It’s perfectly all right with me Angelina wanted a new pair of boobs, that’s her personal decision. But why did she have to admit that in the media? That was not necessary.’

Cosmetic surgery addict Lil’ Kim calls for a boycott, branding Mrs Jolie’s behaviour ‘disgusting’. ‘She couldn’t care less about breast cancer,’ the rapper snaps. ‘She was only trying to get attention. Instead of ageing gracefully into an older version of her pretty self, she tried to regain her youth with plastic surgery and now ended up with botched breast implants. So be quiet about it, just as everyone else does.’

Kim Kardashian, renowned for her bizarre ‘vampire facials’ (and nothing much else), offers a longer view: ‘Reading Angelina’s solipsistic outburst makes me feel ashamed of her. Is she still okay, I mean, mentally? Her essay reveals a gross – though not surprising – underbelly of ego, power and stupidity.’

Singer Madonna wrote the most articulate, vitriolic take-down of the actor. ‘What happened to you as a child, Angelina? Did you not get hugged enough?’ the singer suggests.

‘I think we’re all just curious as to what would make a grown woman talk about her breast implants,’ adds Madonna, who always has denied having had cosmetic work done. ‘We don’t care Angelina wanted to prevent herself dying of cancer. It’s still plastic surgery she did and you simply do not talk about that. If she really was afraid of cancer, she should have let the doctors remove her breasts, period. Talking about those fancy “nipple delays” is breaking the taboo and that’s just plain hypocritical. You want to be honest? Don’t mention and surely don’t confess doing such things, for everyone’s sakes.’

‘Breaking the taboo is just plain hypocritical’

Dolly Parton, queen of plastic surgery, says Mrs Jolie should not have revealed there were still some little scars on her breasts. ‘That’s not encouraging for women who wish to have themselves taken care of,’ the country singer comments. ‘It gives the impression breast reconstruction has not improved much.’

Not only famous Hollywood stars wanted to get rid of their highly valued opinions. ‘How precisely does Mrs Jolie’s confession help any woman aside from rich, white ones with great insurance?’ a female writer living in Afghanistan asked.


4 Comments | RSS

  1. Why are these women being so mean and petty? She’s afraid of dying of cancer you morons, she’s not being frivolous. Just because you have done something that you want to keep a secret (especially considering most of the women being cruel to Angelina had no honorable reason to have bags of jelly implanted on their chests), you have no dignity showing on your petty demeaning excursions.


    KlithsDLFKU on 10 Jul 2013 at 13:30
  2. Celebs are crazy- obviously. Obviously they’re all about how they are seen. Guess what? Your audience are normal people and so are you. I just realized that it’s not the media’s fault it’s the celebs and their “people.” I officially have no time for them

    jess on 15 Jul 2013 at 13:45
  3. This article was bogus. Where did the author get her sources? I live in the US and not one word of this was depicted in any of the legitimate media outlets

    Sharon on 29 Mar 2015 at 09:55
  4. before Muslim rape victim fell in love with her Serb rpsiat’ story was created by Serbia’s PinkMedia’s owner. Originally he attempted to bring Angie’s movie production into his movie studio in Bergrade. When he learned the production went to Budapest’s KordaStudio he spread this false story.PinkMedia’s owner is Serb’s notorious nationalist.I’m reading books about Bosnia War and there were huge scale of propaganda from all govts. And loud people from Serb/ Bosnia/Croatia are also very nationalistic people and they see themselves as pure victims and see other groups as bad ones. Those people are various group’s leaders (including Bosnia’s rape victim group) and those nationalistsoccupy each media industry.The good news is Croatia is wanting to join Euro in 2012 and Euro is urging Croatia to take responsibility of Bosnia War. I think they will accept. Serb and Bosnia govt should also do that.

    Peter on 19 Feb 2016 at 01:15