The European Rightly
June 20th, 2019

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

‘Gays are from Uranus’ total best-seller

April 25th, 2013

The popularising science book ‘Gays are from Uranus’ is slowly becoming this year’s best-seller. The book explains why homosexual people behave fundamentally different from their heterosexual counterparts.

'Uranus lies magnetically on it side - a bit queer, as it were'

Why Uranus? ‘In astronomy, Uruanus is pretty recent. The planet was only discovered in the 18th century. Homosexuality was similarly hidden from the public for a long time, although it was obviously there, just like Uruanus,’ explains evolutionary biologist Charles Delcourt.

‘On top of that, Uranus looks like it’s magnetically on its side. You might say that it’s a bit of a queer world,’ Mr Delcourt smiles.

In his book, Mr Delcourt claims that homosexuality has an evolutionary use. He points out Ancient Greek soldiers who were also lovers, and fought to the death for one another, thus ensuring the survival of the broader communities they belonged to.

‘Today, we all know the stereotype of the lesbian truck driver,’ summarises the author. ‘That’s really not that different. Because lesbian women, who don’t procreate, undertake the long and arduous task of transporting necessary goods for their community, heterosexual people have more time to devote to their families.’

For the same reason, gay people are inclined to deviate from classic gender norms. ‘People from Uranus think and move more freely. They don’t need to conform to rules for masculinity or femininity,’ the biologist reasons.

Yet, Mr Delcourt’s book is met with scepticism by critics. Bert Brepoels, coordinator of Gay Pride Europe: ‘That book is ridiculous and stereotyping. Really, not all gay men are oiled, manicured gym freaks.’

‘The trouble is that Mr Delcourt’s theories cannot be proven‘, says Finnish sociologist Liina Tervetuola. ‘Reality has lots of shades of grey, but is typical behaviour of men to strictly define each gender.’

Charles Delcourt:
‘Because lesbian women perform heavy transport tasks, straight people have more time for their families’

Charles Delcourt doesn’t mind stirring up controversy. In addition, he indicates he’s already working on a follow-up book: ‘Paedophiles are from Pluto’, named after the demoted dwarf planet.