The European Rightly
August 11th, 2020

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

Greece willing to sell Cyprus to Turkey

June 19th, 2013

Increasingly desperate to end the downward economic spiral, Greece has offered the Turkish government to sell Cyprus to them and thus reunify the country. Turkey’s Erdogan is said to have welcomed the offer.

Nicos Anastasiades, Cypriot PM: 'Has everyone forgotten we are a sovereign nation?'

Both Greece and Turkey are in a tight spot. Greece has been severely destabilised by successive financial crises, with the abolishment and then return of its state broadcasting services and its degradation to ’emerging economy’ as the last two defeats in a long row.

Turkey, on the other hand, is faced with an increasingly bitter and violent opposition to Recep Tayyip Erdoğan’s AKP government.

Antonis Samaras, Greek Prime Minister, proposed the idea of selling Cyprus to Turkey in an informal letter. While the letter speaks of peaceful cooperation and a spirit of reconciliation between the former archenemies, the true reason for the move is obvious: Greece needs cash, and it needs it quickly.

For decades, Cyprus has been a bone of contention for both Mediterranean nations. In response to the Greek military junta’s attempt to annex the island in 1974, Turkey launched an invasion that has since divided the island into a southern Greek and a northern Turkish part.

‘It would definitely be an elegant solution to a long-standing problem,’ comments Kristina Skittfeldt, professor of International Affairs at the University of Uppsala. ‘Greece would get a financial shot in the arm and Turkey would score a diplomatic victory.’

While the office of Turkish prime minister Erdoğan declined to comment on the Greek offer, sources close to him say that it could not have come at a better time. In the streets of Istanbul, the violent protest against the peaceful police force has embittered many of his opponents and traditional supporters. Bringing Cyprus fully into the Turkish fold could boost national prestige, and ultimately, Erdoğan’s image.

Greek opposition leaders are furious. ‘This reckless bargaining with Greek lives must end,’ says SYRIZA’s Alexis Tsipras. ‘It’s not because our Cypriot brothers live on a faraway island, that they can be traded like livestock.’

At any rate, before Athens and Ankara can hammer out a deal, the European Union would need to approve it. If the situation in Greece further deteriorates, the European Commission could consider seizing the island’s assets to help pay off debt.

On Cyprus, reactions vary from bemusement to anger. Prime minister Nicos Anastasiades: ‘Apparently our Greek friends have forgotten that we are a sovereign state and a full member of the European Union. I wonder how Greece intends to bargain with what it cannot sell?’

Professor Skittfeldt:
‘Greece would get a financial shot in the arm, and Turkey would score a diplomatic victory’

Derviş Eroğlu, prime minister of the unrecognised Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus, is outraged: ‘We do not want to belong to Turkey. Let Erdoğan solve his own problems without drawing us into it. We value our peaceful existence too much to be used as a rallying banner for a government in trouble.’


2 Comments | RSS

  1. I am a new and better version of Attaturk. From now on, Receipt will become the most popular Turkish name…Mustafa is past…

    Receipt Tayyip Erdogan on 28 Aug 2013 at 16:46
  2. Helloooooo? Aneebodee home?Nope.Y’all gotta be thare if’n y’all is sayin’ nope.Nope.Y’all ain’t comin’ out?Nope.Wahl, wassup? Gotza bad feilen’ like thare’s gonna be a chain-react-shun. Ain’t fownd no-bodee can say whassup.Wahl, it ain’t us’n folksies. We ain’t home.Y’all is shittin’. Y’all is home if’n y’all is a’callin’ backs-to-me.We be uh-echo.Lordy. Ain’t so. Y’all ain’t sayin’ waht I do be sayin’.Lordy Ain’t so. Y’all ain’t sayin’ waht I do be sayin’.Do-be-jesus. I gotta gut-feilen’ this’n is it.Do-be-jesus. I gotta gut-feilen’ this’n is it.Shut yur pie-trap.Shut yur pie-trap.Dangdabbit. I be off to the Otis’s. Gonna crack uh Bud with my stew.

    Ismail on 18 Feb 2016 at 23:33