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Kim Kardashian reveals double lobotomy

May 16th, 2013

American socialite Kim Kardashian has revealed she has undergone a double preventive lobotomy to reduce her risk of saying something stupid. She has gone public with the news to raise awareness.

Immediately after her double lobotomy, Kim Kardashian has had a so-called vampire facial. 'I'm not empty-headed anymore.'

The television personality and occasional actress Kim Kardashian, who came to fame with a home sex video, has a defective brain, which significantly increases her risk of saying and doing things that people of normal intelligence know are utterly stupid. She writes in the Washington Post she has had a double lobotomy as a preventive treatment against even more idiocy.

Mrs Kardashian says she chose not to keep the decision private in the hope that other women aspiring to be famous would get their intelligence tested. ‘I care about you, the gullible imbeciles and the boring little nobodies that have no lives of their own,’ she directly addresses her fans.

‘It is a burden knowing you’re not able to ever say anything clever or profound. Once the doctors told me that this was my reality, I decided to be proactive and to minimise the risk of stupidity,’ Mrs Kardashian confesses.

Women with an IQ score below 70, such as Mrs Kardashian, suffer from a moderate disability and have a 87% chance of making an embarrassing spectacle of themselves. The socialite recalls her doctors told her that her risk was 99%. ‘Now, surgery has reduced it to 5%,’ claims Mrs Kardashian.

The 32-year-old reality star is pregnant of her first child. ‘I am so glad my baby will never know me as the empty-headed woman I was before the surgery,’ Mrs Kardashian writes in her essay. ‘But I think that, with any decisions in life, like, I spoke to a girl today who had cancer and we were talking about how this is such a hard thing for her, but it taught her a big lesson on who her friends are and so much about life. And I was like, that’s how I feel.’

Kim Kardashian:
‘I am so glad my unborn child will never know me as the empty-headed woman I was before the surgery’

Mrs Kardashian adds: ‘I want to encourage every woman, especially if you have a family history of stupidity, to seek out the information and to make your own uninformed choices. You really have to look after yourself. I hate it when women wear the wrong foundation colour, it might be the worst thing on the planet when they wear their make-up too light.’


5 Comments | RSS

  1. Shes so stupid it hurts.

    Ann on 05 Jul 2013 at 22:55
  2. kim u ugly u dont deserve kanye west u stupin labotomy sico mentall disorderlly and u smell like pootey tang and i really dont like u

    zamere on 11 Aug 2014 at 00:43
  3. sike kim u cool i was jk dont let haters bring u down cuase i have a few too boo

    zamere on 11 Aug 2014 at 00:44
  4. Zamere, you’re just about as stupid as this hoax article claims Kim to be. No surprise that you would be a fan.

    Tony on 21 Jan 2015 at 02:16
  5. Kim isn’t stupid, its the people who believe this actually happened.

    Bull on 25 Oct 2015 at 23:21