The European Rightly
August 11th, 2020

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

Rightly launched as Europe-wide news outlet

April 22nd, 2013

It is uncommon that a publisher has the ambition to conquer the European continent with one magazine, instead of a portfolio of national magazines. However, ‘The European Rightly’ is precisely that.

Publisher Knut Jæmbersson used to report on Faroese news on beauty pageants for seamen's daughters.

Knut Jæmbersson, founder of The European Rightly, explains: ‘Europe, as a whole, was lacking in a continent-spanning, credible news source. Every paper or digital newspaper has sections devoted to foreign affairs, but in this day and age, can we really say that what happens in Poland is completely foreign to someone living in Switzerland?’

Mr Jæmbersson, a 47-year-old senior journalist from the Faroe Islands, previously covered local news for the German Bild newspaper. Additionally, he wrote various articles for the United Kingdom’s Sun paper on the popular Miss Seaman contest, which features the ‘hottest daughters of burly seamen’.

‘There is news that connects all of Europe and is in need of an objective perspective, free of nationalist background noise,’ says Mr Jæmbersson. ‘We don’t have any agenda when we report about EU summits, the Eurovision Song Contest, natural disasters or international sporting events. Others dig for facts. We let news be news.’

The Rightly has attracted a handful of seasoned reporters and editors that fit Jæmbersson’s selection criteria. ‘We’re starting out small, but with an impressive team. The Rightly‘s core crew includes a mentally challenged science reporter, an insane political conspiracy theorist, a Ukrainian porn expert and the former national football coach of Vichy France, among others,’ adds Jæmbersson.

Knut Jæmbersson:
‘We don’t have an agenda. Others dig for facts. We let news be news’

Think-tank Indiyan finances The European Rightly. It is not the brain trust’s first foray into journalism, and if The Rightly can meet its goals of getting Europe back in touch with objectivity, it certainly will not be its last.