The European Rightly
March 22nd, 2019
⋅ HEADLINES ⋅

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

Scientists finally divide odd number by two

March 15th, 2013

For the first time in history, scientists have successfully divided an odd number by two. The feat was accomplished by the department of Experimental Mathematics at Germany’s University of Schlumpeldingen.

In order to divide 3 by 2, dr Ernst Moffenhoer postulated a hypothetical number between 2 and 1.

For ages, philosophers have been speculating about the theoretical possibility of dividing odd numbers by two. Back in the 18th century, Immanuel Kant noticed that it’s perfectly possible for a wooden log to be chopped in half, resulting in ‘one (an odd number) wooden log, divided by two.’

But until recently, scientists have only been able to divide even numbers, such as 4, 12 or 106, by two. Prior to last week’s breakthrough, no one had ever succeeded in formulating this division in a mathematical abstraction. The German team, led by Dr Ernst Moffenhoer, claims to be the first ever to have made this possible.

They observed the odd number 3 in a series of experiments, and compared its features to its nearby even numbers, 2 and 4, divided by 2. A hypothetical result of 3 divided by 2 had to be somewhere in between those two, the team figured, because 3 exists between 2 and 4 as well.

That same hypothesis has been used a few times in the past, but so far, concrete experiments have always failed because the results of a division of 2 and 4 by 2, respectively 1 and 2, immediately follow each other, thus leaving no space for another number in between. The German team’s revolutionary discovery was to postulate a number between 1 and 2 nonetheless. That number has been given the temporary name ‘1 and a half’.

Dr Ernst Moffenhoer:
‘The resulting particle is bigger than one, yet smaller than two’

Dr Moffenhoer describes the exact value of the particle as ‘bigger than one, yet smaller than two,’ and his team is working full speed to meticulously measure it. ‘As soon as we’re done with that, we’ll examine the possibility to divide other odd numbers, such as 1, 5 and 7, by 2,’ he concludes.

print

Respond