The European Rightly
November 24th, 2020

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’


The EU Rightly
January 15th, 2014

World stops pretending it gives a shit about Palestine

In the margins of a UN meeting, world leaders have agreed to stop pretending they give a shit about the Palestinians. ‘It was a tough decision, but in the best interest for everyone involved.’

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The EU Rightly
April 29th, 2013

Cameron agrees on Brussels Mean Time

David Cameron, the UK’s prime minister, has agreed to drop the Greenwich Mean Time in exchange for budget cuts within the EU. From now on, the Brussels Mean Time takes over as the global time standard.

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The EU Rightly
March 7th, 2013

Germany: ‘It’s been 70 years now. Get over it’

German Minister of Foreign Affairs Guido Westerwelle has expressed his frustration with the prevailing image of Germany abroad. ‘World War II happened 70 years ago. People really need to give it a rest.’

Business, Politics | 1 Comment | Continue reading ...