The European Rightly
September 24th, 2017
⋅ HEADLINES ⋅

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

Archives

tpony
August 9th, 2014

Austerity measures hit history: Trojan Horse downsized to Trojan Pony

History departments have announced budget cuts and cost-saving measures at the annual History Summit in Zürich, Switzerland. Major events, achievements and personalities will be right-sized to fit in better with today’s realities.

Science, Society | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
July 24th, 2014

‘Real Men’ are absolute twats, it has emerged

Researchers from the University of Oxford have recently concluded a three-year study on masculinity. It confirmed their hypothesis that ‘Real Men’ are dimwitted idiots.

Lifestyle, Society, Sport | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
December 25th, 2013

Swedish king urges nation to be less smug

In a televised address for Christmas, Swedish king Carl XVI Gustaf has asked the country to be a little less smug. ‘We truly live in the most forward-thinking nation, but please, be a little less self-content about it.’

Politics, Society | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
May 13th, 2013

Scandinavia to form MegaZord at Eurovision

Come May 18 at the grand finals in Malmö, the Scandinavians are once again gearing up for a tour de force. Their bloc voting will produce the Nordic MegaZord once more, with Sweden at the centre.

Showbizz | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
March 8th, 2013

Climate change affects turd migration

A five-year study from the University of Copenhagen has shown that climate change is affecting turd migration patterns. A more extreme climate will result in a significant decline of the turd population.

Environment, Science | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...