The European Rightly
March 29th, 2017
⋅ HEADLINES ⋅

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

Archives

The EU Rightly
May 13th, 2013

Scandinavia to form MegaZord at Eurovision

Come May 18 at the grand finals in Malmö, the Scandinavians are once again gearing up for a tour de force. Their bloc voting will produce the Nordic MegaZord once more, with Sweden at the centre.

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The EU Rightly
May 9th, 2013

Belgium symptomatic for West’s decline

Egon Spengler has famously claimed the ‘decline of the West’. That prediction has come true through the Eurovision Song Contest: western European countries have atrocious track records, and Belgium’s leading.

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The EU Rightly
May 8th, 2013

Why on earth is Spain still in Eurovision?

Eurovision Song Contest expert Andrew Miller wonders why Spain always sends forgettable, middle-of-the-road productions. ‘It’s like they don’t even want to win. Why are they still participating at all?’

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The EU Rightly
May 7th, 2013

‘Eurovision was my sexual awakening’

May 18th will mark the 58th edition of the Eurovision Song Contest. Many political greats across Europe have shared their fondest memories about the contest with us. ‘It’s all about power and oppression.’

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The EU Rightly
April 22nd, 2013

Rightly launched as Europe-wide news outlet

It is uncommon that a publisher has the ambition to conquer the European continent with one magazine, instead of a portfolio of national magazines. However, ‘The European Rightly’ is precisely that.

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