The European Rightly
November 23rd, 2017
⋅ HEADLINES ⋅

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

Archives

The EU Rightly
May 26th, 2014

European Union sends mentally ill to “European Parliament”

As has been custom every five years since 1979, last Sunday, the member nations of the European Union have voted which of their mentally ill will be shipped off to rehabilitation institutes in Brussels and Strasbourg. This humanitarian initiative draws both praise and ire.

Society | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
January 10th, 2014

Spain building Great Recession theme park

In a new theme park, Spanish children will be able to explore bad debt, collaterals and coked-out stock trading floors. It will serve as a recognition of the Great Recession’s contribution to modern Spanish life.

Business, Lifestyle, Showbizz | 1 Comment | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
June 19th, 2013

Greece willing to sell Cyprus to Turkey

Increasingly desperate to end the downward economic spiral, Greece has offered the Turkish government to sell Cyprus to them and thus reunify the country. Turkey’s Erdogan is said to have welcomed the offer.

Politics | 2 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
June 7th, 2013

FYROM considering more awkward name

The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (FYROM) is tired of the awkward name the UN forced it to adopt in 1993. The Balkan nation is pondering a namechange to something even more uncomfortable.

Politics | 2 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
May 15th, 2013

Eastern Europe drops ‘Spandex Curtain’

Eastern European countries have shied away from their usual extravagance and boldness. Their innovative combination of depressing eurodance and unusual English led to Eurovision’s revitalisation in the 2000s.

Showbizz | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
March 7th, 2013

Germany: ‘It’s been 70 years now. Get over it’

German Minister of Foreign Affairs Guido Westerwelle has expressed his frustration with the prevailing image of Germany abroad. ‘World War II happened 70 years ago. People really need to give it a rest.’

Business, Politics | 1 Comment | Continue reading ...