Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.
Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’
As has been custom every five years since 1979, last Sunday, the member nations of the European Union have voted which of their mentally ill will be shipped off to rehabilitation institutes in Brussels and Strasbourg. This humanitarian initiative draws both praise and ire.
In a new theme park, Spanish children will be able to explore bad debt, collaterals and coked-out stock trading floors. It will serve as a recognition of the Great Recession’s contribution to modern Spanish life.
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Increasingly desperate to end the downward economic spiral, Greece has offered the Turkish government to sell Cyprus to them and thus reunify the country. Turkey’s Erdogan is said to have welcomed the offer.
The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (FYROM) is tired of the awkward name the UN forced it to adopt in 1993. The Balkan nation is pondering a namechange to something even more uncomfortable.
Eastern European countries have shied away from their usual extravagance and boldness. Their innovative combination of depressing eurodance and unusual English led to Eurovision’s revitalisation in the 2000s.
German Minister of Foreign Affairs Guido Westerwelle has expressed his frustration with the prevailing image of Germany abroad. ‘World War II happened 70 years ago. People really need to give it a rest.’
