Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.
Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’
As is tradition, losing national squads returning from the FIFA World Cup, are being ritually sacrificed. The Spanish national team has met a grisly end in torture chambers, while the English squad was burnt to the stake.
North Korea has tried to withdraw two mobile ballistic missiles from a launch site. A flat tyre has prevented the regime to complete the withdrawal. No-one within the country was able to repair the damage.
