The European Rightly
March 29th, 2017
⋅ HEADLINES ⋅

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

Archives

tpony
August 9th, 2014

Austerity measures hit history: Trojan Horse downsized to Trojan Pony

History departments have announced budget cuts and cost-saving measures at the annual History Summit in Zürich, Switzerland. Major events, achievements and personalities will be right-sized to fit in better with today’s realities.

Science, Society | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
June 4th, 2014

Last Eurodance survivor dies in Romania

Authorities have confirmed that the last known eurodance victim, Sorin Popescu, died last night in a hospital in Bucharest, aged 26. Eurodance was a dangerous infection that ravaged Europe in the 1990s.

Lifestyle, Society | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
March 6th, 2014

Paralympic athletes seize Sochi, form militia

International brigades of Paralympics athletes have seized the airport and main transport links of Sochi. The athletes are in the Russian city for the Winter Paralympics of 2014, starting tomorrow.

Politics, Sport | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
December 25th, 2013

Swedish king urges nation to be less smug

In a televised address for Christmas, Swedish king Carl XVI Gustaf has asked the country to be a little less smug. ‘We truly live in the most forward-thinking nation, but please, be a little less self-content about it.’

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The EU Rightly
May 15th, 2013

Eastern Europe drops ‘Spandex Curtain’

Eastern European countries have shied away from their usual extravagance and boldness. Their innovative combination of depressing eurodance and unusual English led to Eurovision’s revitalisation in the 2000s.

Showbizz | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
March 18th, 2013

Chelyabinsk meteor was actually Depardieu

The investigation into the apparent meteor that exploded over the Russian city of Chelyabinsk has yielded astonishing results. Research indicates that the exploded mass was likely the actor Gérard Depardieu.

Environment, Science, Showbizz | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
March 1st, 2013

Lukashenko moustache arrested for treason

In a harsh crackdown on opposition, Belarussian president Aleksandr Lukashenko’s moustache has been arrested for high treason. Belarus enforces its reputation as ‘Europe’s last dictatorship.’

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The EU Rightly
February 27th, 2013

Both Georgias to swap places for summer

Georgia is an ex-Soviet state located in the Caucasus region, straddling the Europe-Asia border. The country shares its name with the US state of Georgia. Both have now decided to swap places.

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