The European Rightly
September 24th, 2017
⋅ HEADLINES ⋅

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

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The EU Rightly
June 30th, 2014

Homecoming FIFA football players ritually sacrificed in Spain, England, other countries

As is tradition, losing national squads returning from the FIFA World Cup, are being ritually sacrificed. The Spanish national team has met a grisly end in torture chambers, while the English squad was burnt to the stake.

Society | 1 Comment | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
May 26th, 2014

European Union sends mentally ill to “European Parliament”

As has been custom every five years since 1979, last Sunday, the member nations of the European Union have voted which of their mentally ill will be shipped off to rehabilitation institutes in Brussels and Strasbourg. This humanitarian initiative draws both praise and ire.

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The EU Rightly
January 10th, 2014

Spain building Great Recession theme park

In a new theme park, Spanish children will be able to explore bad debt, collaterals and coked-out stock trading floors. It will serve as a recognition of the Great Recession’s contribution to modern Spanish life.

Business, Lifestyle, Showbizz | 1 Comment | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
May 8th, 2013

Why on earth is Spain still in Eurovision?

Eurovision Song Contest expert Andrew Miller wonders why Spain always sends forgettable, middle-of-the-road productions. ‘It’s like they don’t even want to win. Why are they still participating at all?’

Showbizz | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...