The European Rightly
July 26th, 2017
⋅ HEADLINES ⋅

Belgium takes penile prints of asylum seekers

Male asylum seekers entering Belgium will have to cede prints of their erectile penis. ‘We admit fingerprints are too intrusive, that’s why we’re taking penile prints’, government officials say.

Men relieved by Facebook’s new ‘Show me your tits’ button

Of the new ‘Reactions’ Facebook has released, the ‘Show me your tits’ button is by far the most popular. ‘This button expresses what 10,000 likes can’t manage,’ men say. ‘It makes life a whole lot easier.’

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The EU Rightly
March 6th, 2014

Paralympic athletes seize Sochi, form militia

International brigades of Paralympics athletes have seized the airport and main transport links of Sochi. The athletes are in the Russian city for the Winter Paralympics of 2014, starting tomorrow.

Politics, Sport | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
January 15th, 2014

World stops pretending it gives a shit about Palestine

In the margins of a UN meeting, world leaders have agreed to stop pretending they give a shit about the Palestinians. ‘It was a tough decision, but in the best interest for everyone involved.’

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The EU Rightly
March 18th, 2013

Chelyabinsk meteor was actually Depardieu

The investigation into the apparent meteor that exploded over the Russian city of Chelyabinsk has yielded astonishing results. Research indicates that the exploded mass was likely the actor GĂ©rard Depardieu.

Environment, Science, Showbizz | 0 Comments | Continue reading ...

The EU Rightly
March 1st, 2013

Lukashenko moustache arrested for treason

In a harsh crackdown on opposition, Belarussian president Aleksandr Lukashenko’s moustache has been arrested for high treason. Belarus enforces its reputation as ‘Europe’s last dictatorship.’

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